Before she succeeded she was ready to give up. When I think about the women who made history I am convinced that there were many times when they were ready to give up. Weary they must have thought “this is just too hard – who am I to do this?”
Have you ever wanted to give up… just before your breakthrough?
March is Women’s History month – we honor those who have blazed a trail for us to follow. Their actions gained notoriety. But what about the silent heroes? In her book “Well-behaved Women Seldom Make History” historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich talks about the women who didn’t try to make history - but did. I confess that I have not read this book nor do I know anything about Laurel but I was drawn to the title: Well-behaved women seldom make history.
At first it just made me smile. I thought – these women don’t draw inside the lines. They are bold extroverts that won’t be silenced! I didn’t consider the quiet unassuming persistent behind-the-scenes woman. I wonder how many of you know heroes like that.
Meet two well-behaved women…
I’m reminded of one of my coaching clients – let’s call her Deborah. Deborah was ready to quit her job. A Human Resource Manager she was challenged by an all-male highly outspoken Leadership Team. An introvert by nature, she was trying to fit in – be loud and opinionated. It was exhausting. I invited her to consider: Why not just be you? She didn’t think she was enough but nonetheless she persevered. She took the time to recognize her value and set out to demonstrate it “her way”. Deborah is now the first female Vice President in that company. Before she succeeded she was ready to give up.
“Well behaved” is not normally a term we would when describing my mom – Adela Garcia Sabatier. While not an extrovert, she was had an opinionated, against all odds passionate personality. She didn’t think she was right. She knew she was right.
My Dad was loved for his gentle kindness – never met a stranger – he was comfortable in a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle . My mom was not. She quickly learned that she would be the trail blazer in our family. A gifted seamstress she was sought after by many politicians in Havana, Cuba to make their guayaberas – a lightweight open-necked shirt very common to the islands. In 1954 my parents brought me to the United States. Speaking no English, It didn’t take long for her to find employment – custom shirt-making and repair at a shop on 6th Avenue in NYC. She didn’t need to speak English – her talent spoke for her. Roy Rogers and Liberace were two of the “famous” people she served.
A workaholic, she would yank me out of bed each morning – ride with me on the subway to my school and then ride back rushing to get to work on time. She sacrificed so that I could attend private schools. She saved and planned and soon opened up her first retail store – Sabatier Shirt Hospital. In those days men would get their shirt collars and cuffs replaced. She would take the whole family with her shopping on Sunday to Delancey street – where she bargained and bullied prices down to what she could afford. Her third store “Maggie’s Bridal Gowns” was well known in our Washington Heights neighborhood – not only for weddings but also for Quinceaneras (Sweet 15 Parties).
Growing up I resented the fact that neither of my parents had much time to spend with me. I know differently now. Against all odds – Mom succeeded in very much a man’s world. She was viewed as loud, opinionated, rude and as a downright bully at times. She fought for what mattered. With all the challenges she faced, I imagine there were many times she wanted to quit – just before her breakthrough. I was her breakthrough.
Make History Count – Women have gone before us to make a difference – to leave a legacy. How will your life be different because of their sacrifices? Whether they were loud or whisperers – their stories matter.
How about you? Are you ready to give up and possibly miss out on your breakthrough?
Maggie Sabatier-Smith
Latest posts by Maggie Sabatier-Smith (see all)
- Dancing on the Edge of Truth – Don’t Settle - July 3, 2022
- How to Move Beyond a Broken Friendship… - February 4, 2022
- Cafecito – Where It All Began - June 20, 2021