Coach Me, Please | Part 2
People Matter. They participate in our life story. Some are with us for a short season and some travel with us for a lifetime. Some support and encourage us on our journey. Others present obstacles to our success. What about you? What part do you play in your own story?
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
– George Bernard Shaw
Know Yourself.
Communicating effectively with others is a key component to a successful life. But before we can begin to learn about others we need to ask “How do I show up?” “What’s my nature?” Knowing and owning your personality strengths and challenges is an essential first step.
We offer our clients a personality assessment tool that provides an in depth look at how we form relationships as well as get results. As a DIY option, perhaps these questions will help you start that process on your own:
- Do you look inward or outward for answers?
- Big picture thinker or do you quickly get down to details?
- When considering your skill base – are you a generalist or do you prefer to specialize in a particular area?
- Do you prefer to initiate a process or do you pride yourself in maintaining a repeatable process?
- Do you move quickly regardless of the need? Or are you more methodical and prefer a slower approach?
- Are you task-oriented or people oriented?
- Do you keep yourself at arm’s length in your relationships or do you quickly form a bond?
- Do you have a “show me – prove it” approach to new ideas or do you immediately tend to trust what’s being presented?
- What motivates you? Order and accuracy? Stability and harmony? People? Fast & changing pace? Challenges that produce results?
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
– Isaac Asimov
Opposites Attract and Distract.
What? Are you telling me that people don’t think and communicate the same way that I do? That is correct. Some might say that learning to communicate effectively is similar to learning a foreign language. Some of us enjoy getting to know our opposites but only for a season. It doesn’t take long before we become impatient and want them to be more like us.
Know your audience — Start with studying the questions asked above and applying them to others. It’s an investment in time that yields great dividends when you apply the knowledge you’ve learned.
Some practical ideas to consider:
- If you tend to think and respond quickly and you are conversing with someone who is more reserved, learn to take “silent” pauses to allow the other person to respond.
- If you love research and details, ask your audience if they prefer the summary version or the more detailed version before you begin speaking.
- If you have a tendency to take things personally, don’t. Ask yourself “What if it’s not about me? Most of the time, it isn’t.
- If you are confident that you “know” you are right, keep it to yourself. Remember that the rest of us may need to arrive at that conclusion on our own.
Identify your Circles of Influence.
Take some time to observe the people in your circle of influence. Start with identifying them. For example:
- Family
- Faith/Church
- Work
- Social Group
- Education (School, Book Club, Toastmasters, etc.)
- Industry specific groups
Revisit your Priorities. How do your circles of influence support your goals? Detract from your goals? What groups matter most to you? How do you show up in each group? What changes are needed in order to move closer to what matters most in your life?
The Coaching Process Starts Here.
You’ve taken the time to answer these questions… now what? Perhaps they are enough to get you started in trouble-shooting some problem relationships or possibly expanding your circle of influence. It’s a beginning. Remember… when you “Show up as you” accompanied by a respect for those who are different, relationships flourish.
Are you left with a desire to know more? Do you have a specific question? Ready to fast-track your goals? Allow me to be your Coach… Our Gift to You: Schedule a free 20 minute introductory coaching call to help you get started on your new journey, PLUS sign up today to receive the soon-to-be released Coach Me, Please book, for free.
Maggie Sabatier-Smith
Latest posts by Maggie Sabatier-Smith (see all)
- Dancing on the Edge of Truth – Don’t Settle - July 3, 2022
- How to Move Beyond a Broken Friendship… - February 4, 2022
- Cafecito – Where It All Began - June 20, 2021